Having twins is one of the hardest things I have ever had to. I don’t say “done” because you’re never really done raising kids.
I’ve had to change so much in so little time. I had postpartum depression and I didn’t start to bond with our girls until they were six months old. It was rough man.
I was basically in survival mode. Trying to figure out how to get through the day to day and figure out this new role as a mother.
You may not have it as hard as I did or feel as overwhelmed as me, but you may still be feeling lost in the sauce. So here are 10 tips to help you survive your first year with twins.
1 Join an online support group
For me it has been Facebook community groups. You can do a search and request to join some groups.
I personally belong to 4 or 5 groups for twin moms. I even quit 1 because I didn’t feel like I was being heard or could relate to them.
The groups are great, though. Twin parents at every stage, even pregnancy, ask questions and share stories. They help you feel you are not alone in this journey. You can get a ton of advice from them.
2 Get them on the same schedule
This is a little harder than it sounds but, when you get it, it is so worth the little time this frees up.
It’s hard to let one baby wake up the other and deal with twice the screams but it is best to let them wake, eat, and sleep at the same times. You can do these tasks in one lump sum of time rather than a few smaller amounts. This will free up small amounts of free time to take care of yourself.
3 Get prepared
The first couple of months is about gassy, fussy, teething, hungry babies that you are trying to teach to self soothe and get on the same schedule.
You’ll drive yourself crazy researching what’s wrong with your babies and the best ways to help them, then running to the store to get these items. Check out our post 9 Must-Have Items For New Moms to get yourself started and prepared.
4 Look forward to milestones
I was always looking forward to those little milestones that could give the girls a little more independence and me a little more time. Things like holding their bottle, crawling, and sleeping through night make you feel little better
I was so happy when they could hold their own bottles, then I could get ready in the morning without spending a half an hour feeding them. Watching them crawl around made me happy because I didn’t feel like I had to entertain them all the time, and when they started self soothing and sleeping better I felt like I hit the lottery.
It seems impossible as a parent of twins but you have to make it happen. Sleep deprivation is real with twins and can cause you to dread your day. Sleep every minute you can. Sleep when they sleep and forget the chores.
I used to call people over to watch the girls specifically so I could sleep.
This brings me to my next topic.
6 Accept and ask for help
If someone offers “let me know if you need anything” then call them. Be specific about what you need. Ask them to wash dishes, bring dinner, take the dog for a walk, or just watch the kids while you sleep.
7 Dont judge yourself
As a parent, we feel the pressure of all the responsibilities of taking care of the babies, work, family, and the home. That is a lot to be responsible for. Then we tend to feel like we are failing if these things aren’t taken care of “well enough” or in a timely manner.
It’s okay! It’s o.k. the laundry hasn’t been done in 2 weeks. It’s o.k. toys are all over the living room floor. It’s o.k. you’re having pizza for dinner for the third night in a row.
You’re not failing. Everyone has clothes to wear, toys to play with, and food in their bellies. You’re killin it, all while taking care of two babies at the same time.
Therapy is great if you’re going through postpartum depression. A therapist can help you work through all these new feelings and hormonal adjustments.
I had a traumatizing labor. I could not get over it even after months had passed. I felt so much better, though, after talking through it with the therapist and doing some of the things she suggested
9 Do things you enjoy
Your life has been forever hacked by two little beings. Before they arrived, though, you were you who enjoyed doing things. These are things that bring you joy and peace and reset your mind.
This could be anything: going out with friends, game night with the family, small road trips, concerts, or sitting on the couch binge watching Hallmark Christmas movies.
For me this would be working on my blog, spending time with my husband, and hanging with the girls (the adult friend girls, not the tiny munchkin life-hacking girls I gave birth to.)
10 Continue your prenatals
Your body has gone through so much change carrying twins for 3 trimesters. After birth, your body is continuously adjusting, trying to return to normal. We tend not to sleep or eat well either, when caring for newborns.
Your prenatals can aid in your body’s adjustiments by keeping up the necessary vitamins it needs.
I did not keep up my prenatals as my doctor suggested. My biggest concern, besides postpartum depression, was hair loss. I was losing all my beautiful thick locks from pregnancy plus some. I had to buy vitamins for hair, skin, and nails. The truth is the hair was going to fall out anyway because that is a part of pregnancy but the vitamins could have helped the process and my new hair growth.
There you have it. The 10 things that have helped me survive my first year with twins. Now I have two beautiful fun 1-year-olds. What helped you get through your first year?Follow me on social media