Tips for Parents

Having kids at 30

Deciding when to have a baby is tough. Some people want to wait for the right time. I’m not sure there is a right time. Life is going to go on no matter when you decide to have a baby.

I don’t know what it’s like to have a baby any younger than 30. I’m here to tell you what it’s been like being first-time parents, of twins, at 30 years old. Here’s to having kids at 30!

Freedom

The hardest thing about having kids at 30 was the adjustment of being kind of chained to home all the time. We lived for such a long time coming and going as we please.
Now we can’t even walk into the next room because we have to worry about the babies’ safety. You lose so much freedom so fast that you can’t believe this is your life.
 
There is no transition. It’s just like, BOOM, here they are, now think twice before you pee or eat breakfast.
 
This made me wish that I had kids when I was younger and living at home with my mother. I have such a big family that I’m sure they would have been a major part of care for the kids, without even asking.
 
It sounds depressing, and it definitely is if you’re going through postpartum depression. But you adjust, just like you would for any major event in your life.
 
You learn how to live life with them. You know when you have a minute to run to the bathroom and that breakfast will have to wait until their first nap.

Woman standing in front of water holding "freedom" sign

bareMinerals

Sleep

Then there is the sleep issue. Everyone knows that when you have children you’re going to lose sleep. Point, blank, period. But when you’ve reached thirty without any kids you got used to a sleep schedule that you made up yourself.
 
I have some thyroid and adrenal problems so I get fatigued often. I was able to sleep at least 9 hours a night and nap every day when I came home. My husband went to bed every night on time. If he stayed up a little late then he made up for it with a nap the next day or an earlier bed time.

woman lying in bed face down

Yeah, not anymore. Naps are non-existent. That saying “nap when they nap” is a taunt. As if you were going to get three naps a day.
 
The problem is that when they nap, that is time to get everything else done. When they are awake you are spending every moment with them.
 
The same is true for when they fall asleep for the night. I try to straighten up our mess from the day, wash bottles and prep for the next day. It’s also my time to eat and wash. So not only do I not get to nap but I’m going to bed later than usual. A sleep schedule is a joke.
You know what, though, you survive. It’s hard. You’re past those long nights and early mornings you had in your twenties. You got used to coming home and watching the news before bed.
 
But those little sleeping bodies and cute smiles when they wake up are so worth everything you sacrifice. And one day they will know your pain.

Going Out

Man handing something out of his car window

When I was in my twenties I used to go out with my girlfriends and have a blast. Most of us didn’t have kids yet so we were out all the time with no cares. I am glad I got to have those experiences. It’s a little harder to have those experiences as much when you have kids.

Now my friends who had kids earlier are planning vacations and birthday outings. They have the opportunity to go anywhere because their children are older.
 
I’m just trying to find a babysitter so I can get out for three hours. I don’t think the babysitter nor my children could handle any longer than that. But I guess this is how my friends felt when we were out in our twenties.

Diet

So before kids, me and my husband were sort of on a journey to a healthier lifestyle. We had time to eat healthier and make protein shakes and get some kind of exercise in. It felt good to get healthy after destroying our health in our twenties with alcohol and junk food on the go.

picture of sweets against a yellow background

After kids, I swore I was going to do what I had to do to continue our diet and exercise. Lack of sleep and time, that we’ve mentioned before, makes it hard. It took us six months to be able to stop eating frozen dinners and have some kind of meal almost every other night. We still don’t have enough time to really cook a good meal so you can only imagine how healthy our quick meals are.

Slowly, though, we are figuring how to incorporate healthier options into our diets. We both get a protein shake in the morning. My husband can get an afternoon workout in because he gets home before us. I may get a late night yoga session sometimes after the kids go to bed.

It’s All Good

I find that it’s harder to adjust to the hectic schedule of children when in your thirties. You had so many years to get comfortable doing your own thing in your own time. You had no one to be responsible for but yourself. Having children later in life is a big adjustment in short amount of time. But no matter when you do it, it’s worth it. You do adjust and life with them is more worry but so much more smiles and love. So here’s to having kids at 30!

 

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10 thoughts on “Having kids at 30

  1. Hi; Having kids at 30 is a blessing in the guise, Some pares never have kids at all. Yes, the earlier, the better, for both kids and mother, loosing out on your nap is not easy to get used to doing, but kids come with demand.

     And the laughter and fun you have with your kids is a way of paying you for all that you have to pack away to give them your full support. If you plan on having more kids it would be less stressful if you have them while the twins are young so they will come up together and allow you earlier babysitting retirement.

    DorcasW

    1. Yes Dorcas having kids at any age is a blessing. I am just presenting the challenges of having them at thirty rather than in the early twenties. I am still unsure if we are going to have any more. I am terrified to have another set of twins.

  2. Thank you for writing about this very important topic. My wife and I had our first child in our thirties and what you have written is so true for all the reasons you mentioned – it is a BIG adjustment! Sleep deprivation, lack of time to yourself and the huge demands a baby and as they grow older, young children put on you is a lot to get used to. 

    The good news is that you do get used to it in time, but it does require an attitude and mindset adjustment. From my own experience and the experience of my friends who are dads, I have found adjusting to this new lifestyle particularly difficult for men.

    1. Yes John! It is such a big adjustment for anyone at any age but I feel like when you are thirty you had a really long time to get comfortable in your ways then those ways are totally thrown to the side so that you can raise kids.

  3. Nice information there. A lot of my friends are young parents who just recently having kids, and they seem so… heavily focused on their children need. I remember one of my colleagues, whose wife just recently gave birth, asking for continuous work leave due to taking care of his baby.

    Can you share a bit about how should a father do (or prepare) when just having kids at 30s? It seems easy to find reference from mom’s perspective, but I find it rare to have father’s perspective. Maybe because most of parenting blogs is being written by females 🙂

    1. That’s a great question. While a female did write this my husband faced the same challenges. If anything he was more set in his ways and less flexible than I was but then again there is a lot more pressure on a mother to change and adapt then there is for a father. But he is just as involved as I. He lost his freedom too. He cannot just get up and go out with his friends whenever he wants. We talk about our schedules and see if it would work out. We coordinate and check with each other. He doesn’t take naps unless the girls are napping and he goes to bed with them. His diet has also changed drastically. 

  4. Yes well I suppose you can say you lose some time freedom. I wouldn’t do it however as losing total freedom just because you work to be satisfied with your baby and children. Enjoy the good times as the best valuable advice to give so that all in the home can enjoy the time together even in hard work. Thanks for the insights into Chao and rearing into the 30s which is a good time To get started.

    1. Thanks Andrew. As rough as the first year was you adapt and change like with most big events in life. These are just some of the things I noticed I got comfortable with and became a big adjustment when I decided to have kids at 30.

  5. Great post! I couldn’t agree more with your post. You have to re-find yourself after having children. I only have one and I had him when I was 24. I can understand how you get so set in your ways in your 20’s and it may be harder to adjust a tiny bit later in life, but isn’t parenthood the best?? It has definitely made me a more selfless and better person!

    1. It definitely is great. You don’t even notice that it shapes who you are, you just jump into it like you’ve been there the whole time

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